I’m Tired From Resting

In 2019, I was in high school and I did my 1 year LPN program (Nursing). I knew it was going to be hard, and surely it was. I spent a lot of evenings studying and doing homework. Every single day I was putting in the work necessary to succeed in the program, and when Saturdays and Sundays came around where I gave myself some rest and did other things that I enjoyed, I was making sure to enjoy them.

Soon after the program ended, in March of 2020, COVID-19 hit. Everyone’s lives turned upside down. All schools closed, quarantining, businesses not letting people in, friends and family in fear. Everyone was in lockdown, and now we were all stuck at home. For me, and I’m sure a couple others, staying at home and resting was typically an enjoyable experience on the weekends, a break from working or studying during the week. Somehow this time it was different. For some reason the more time I spent in bed doing nothing, the less energy I would have as the days went by. With so many pastimes or hobbies now available with all the free time I had, I seemed the most discouraged to do them. Weirdly enough, I needed a break from all my resting.

It took me a while to recuperate the kind motivation and energy that I was looking to have. I wanted just enough to be doing things that are productive and not a waste of my time. As soon as I started to add more responsibilities to my life, and put myself through actual “work,” I finally began to enjoy that extra hour of sleep I got on the weekends. I was enjoying the moments of rest I had at home. The couple hours I had after getting through my work during the day were actually something I began to take advantage of. This is when it hit me.

1. Rest can only be enjoyed, If there is work to rest from.
2. Rest can only be a successful output, when there is enough input of work.

I’ve heard it too many times, and I know I’ve said it before, people saying I wish I can make a whole lot of money doing absolutely nothing. Trust me, it’s not as glamorous as it sounds. So many things in your life that you use to rest and to get away from work for a while, would be nowhere near as enjoyable if you were given an unlimited supply of it. Just as one loves a certain food, but when that’s all they’ve been eating for the past couple weeks, it’s the last thing they want to see.

If someone would’ve told me when I was in nursing school “In a couple months, everything is going on lockdown, you won’t have to go to school and you’ll be at home doing whatever you want,” I would’ve been so happy and excited. Yet like I’ve explained before, it wasn’t enjoyable. There was nothing I was working toward, so there was nothing to rest from. I was simply taking a break, from all my break. Yes, I could’ve been doing something productive and it would’ve been time well spent, but the point of this article is not to tell you how I wasted my time during quarantine, rather pointing out to you why you may feel unmotivated to do anything, when all you’re doing is taking breaks, resting, and entertaining yourself.

What you could do

If you happen to fall in the same boat that I pointed out earlier then I think the best thing for you to do  is add more responsibility (and this applies to everyone, but we’re going to look at how this can specifically help with enjoying rest). I’m going to make another article expanding on the reason why every person should add more responsibility to their lives, but for you, who seem to be so unmotivated even though you have so much rest and free time, this is why this could help. When I speak of responsibility, this isn’t geared toward solely going to work, it goes beyond that. Put in the effort to learn a language, force yourself to read 2 books a month, start your own website, get a dog! It doesn’t have to be work, and it shouldn’t only be work. Although you may enjoy some of these things, they still aren’t complete rest, because you are still putting in mental effort. If you want physical effort, then go to the gym, learn some calisthenic skills, and train in a sport you like.

It may seem that all I’m mentioning are things that some or most people still consider rest/enjoyment, and yes that’s true, but give yourself goals. Try to hit milestones, and keep yourself accountable to those milestones. That’s what really matters. One thing is going to play football just for fun, another thing is intentionally putting in the effort to get better at the sport. When you are putting in the effort toward a goal, even the things I mentioned are going to be a little taxing on you. And that’s a good thing! Then the things that you really find fun, will be to you what treats are to dogs. You’ll begin to look forward to simply enjoying the presence of your family, and cherishing that time. The time you spend with a loved one will feel like a reward. Staying in bed till 11 am on the weekends will feel like time well spent, unlike me who stayed in bed till 1 pm for most days during COVID, and just felt terrible about it.

If you continue in this state of doing nothing, you will almost certainly say to yourself at the end of your life, “I wish I never spent so much time doing nothing in my life.” But you will almost certainly never have regretted learning a language or caring for a dog (I will always say this).

What you shouldn’t do

Now, I don’t want you to do a full 180 and lose an understanding of rest and downtime. Rest is valuable! Although I can encourage you to take on more duties and responsibilities, it always has to be a balance. The lack of balance is what makes people hate work and others feel terrible when they’ve done nothing for the past couple weeks. I’m sure both parties see the grass greener on the other side.

After reading this, don’t go and apply for a second job, don’t take on 10 different duties to be completed every single day, take time to think about it. Think about what you’ve always wanted to get into, what are some things that you’ve wanted to pick up. If it’s playing an instrument then take that up, but if that’s not your cup of tea then don’t force yourself to like something you don’t. And if you already have too many things, and you feel stressed, then dial it down a bit. There are usually many things that you are doing that you don’t have to, yet you continue to do them. Take a step back and remove the things you haven’t been enjoying to the fullest.

I wrote this article in order to show the people who have found less enjoyment in the things they once loved why this is happening, and it’s because that’s all their life consists of. Learn to balance these two aspects, Work (this includes the responsibilities I mentioned) and rest, and this is when you’ll be able to enjoy both things to the fullest extent. When you understand that rest will be more enjoyable when I am responsible over stuff, you will understand why those things are important. You will also understand while you are resting, that being that way for too long will become stale and unmotivating. Seek to be pleased with responsibility, and you will surely find pleasure in rest.